I am not so far away from my own youth that I cannot remember what it was like to be a child; nor have I forgotten the ferocity of the love I felt for my own mother when I was young. I never got enough of her; I could hardly stand to be separated from her. Sometimes I would find her reading in her room, and have a glimpse of the woman she is beneath the veneer of her motherhood. I recognize this now with stunning clarity: the moments you sneak away to be just yourself, away from the title of Mama. Maybe it's just eating ice cream alone in the kitchen at 1am. It's time to breathe and just be.
Now that I am a mother myself, I understand the importance of asserting yourself as an individual aside from your role as mother. We all had a life before our children; we were all a slightly different woman in the past. Recalling my own feelings, and regarding my own daughter, I see the mother’s place in the eyes and heart of the child; I see the puzzled fascination with the mother as a Woman, independent from her status as a Mom.
I still never get enough of my mother. We rarely have more than a couple of minutes alone together to talk even when we are in the same place, because now she has become something even more sacred: she is Grandma. Mimi Jasek is one of the most kind and genuinely selfless, giving people I have ever known. Mom, I love you, I am thankful for you every day, and I'm sorry for all the times I was such a colossal pain.
Please be sure to visit the Film Shooters Collective website for the companion article I wrote for the blog, on Mother's Day.